"Can't you even IMAGINE you're in the depths of despair?"

For those that love Lucy Maud Montgomery than I'm sure you recognize where the title for my post came from...Anne had questioned Marilla. At times I ask myself what it would feel like, to despair. But Marilla comes up with the best response. "No I cannot. To despair is to turn your back on God." Well it's as simple as that. I trust my prayers are heard and my hearts desires are known...I don't walk this recovery alone. The best knowledge I have! Love to all!

I haven't had a really good nights sleep in so long...I can't even remember when that was. It's been just under a year since I began my physical therapy. I love my physical therapist because he opened my life up to an option I really had deemed off limits. I never once considered surgery as an option yet oddly enough I always knew the day would come. I just didn't know when...and after years of pain I finally knew it was a decision that would change my life. And oh how it has! I've begun to see the ways it is changing my life...and although I still battle pain it's different than any I've ever known before. I classify it as a good hurt. Because it's the road to recovery...it hurts. I hate it and I will at times wallow in my own self pity and cry for hours into the late hours of the night but I wouldn't ever take this decision back EVER! I think about the things I did want a year ago and where I wanted to be. Yeah I still want those things but I'm glad they got put on hold.

So here I am tonight...and my week has been not so wonderful...I hate the medicine but at times I feel it's my only escape. Even if just for a few hours. While waiting for the medicine to kick in I find myself reading. Several years back I began compiling a binder full of articles and talks I'd print up. So on the nights like tonight I open that up and read one. Tonight I chose one that I love for several reasons and I'd like to share just a small portion of it.

"As experiences accumulate in our lives, they add strength and support to each other. Just as the building blocks of our homes support the rest of the structure, so too do our personal life experiences become building blocks for our testimonies and add to our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ."

 full aritcle here

I'm off to cry for a bit...afterall Anne says that "Tears don't hurt like the ache does." I believe it and practice it!

{colorado summer sunrise! LOVE it! Thought I'd share it with you!}